The Simpsons 16×11: On a Clear Day I Can’t See My Sister

The students of Springfield Elementary are on a field trip to Springfield’s Glacier, but when they get there, the glacier is a shadow of its former self, a huge pond with a hardly noticeable block of ice. Lisa (of course) blames global warming. While Lisa is calling for action to save the glacier, her brother is taking every opportunity to torment her. Meanwhile, back in town Homer and Marge have gone to Sprawl Mart to do some shopping. When Grampa (Sprawl Mart’s greeter) isn’t capable of doing his job, Homer takes over and does such a great job it gets him a full time position with no chance for advancement. Lisa has vengeance on Bart by getting a restraining order against him, he must stay at least 20 feet away from her at all times, or go to jail. Chief Wiggum shows the family a videotape hosted by Gary Busey on how to live with a restraining order. For his part Homer constructs a 20 foot pole that Lisa can use to help keep them apart. It impacts Bart’s life at home and school. At family court, after Bart points out some obvious flaws in her character, Judge Harm increases the distance to 200 feet. Having to live at the edge of their property, Bart decides to embrace living the natural way. Homer finds out from his fellow employees how to survive working at Sprawl Mart. And mistakenly feeling that Bart might have changed, Lisa decides to forgive him and burn up the restraining order.

The Simpsons 16×10: There’s Something About Marrying

Bart and Milhouse look for someone new to play tricks on and they find their new victim in Howell Huser, a yokel who just fell of the turnip truck. Their pranks get Howell Huser to stop smiling and he leaves town, only to turn up on the Soft News Network reporting that Springfield is the only town he’s been to that he doesn’t like. The negative publicity affects tourism. Mayor Quimby calls for the town to give him ideas to promote tourism and Lisa suggests they start allowing same sex marriages. The idea is approved and Springfield becomes the place to be for same sex couples to get married. When Reverend Lovejoy won’t perform the ceremonies, Homer can’t pass up the opportunity to make money and he becomes a certified minister via the Internet. He marries all the gay couples in town and then starts to marry anything to anything else. Patty requires Homer’s service; she wants to marry her partner, Veronica, who is a pro-golfer. Marge has trouble dealing with the fact that her sister is gay. Marge discovers Veronica’s secret, that she is really a man. Marge stops the wedding and reveals the secret, and when Leslie Robin Swisher (Veronica’s real name) proposes that they still get married, she sticks to her guns, she still likes only girls.

The Simpsons 16×9: Pranksta Rap

Fearing punishment from Marge and Homer, Bart decides to fake his own kidnapping rather than admit that he went to the rap concert that he was told not to go to. Things get interesting when Chief Wiggum, seeking to improve his tarnished reputation, investigates the kidnapping and wrongly arrests Kirk Van Houten as Bart’s kidnapper.

The Simpsons 16×8: Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass

The family goes to run down Springfield Park, where a carnival is being held to save it. Homer performs a wild crowd-pleasing dance at a local carnival, after beating Bart’s performance in a game. Ned Flanders has captured the performance on videotape and Comic Book Guy (Jeff Albertson) puts it up on the Internet. The video gets worldwide attention, much to Homer’s embarrassment but his tune changes when a football player wants to buy the rights to use his dance as his own end zone celebration. Homer turns the opportunity into a new lucrative occupation, which prospers as other athletes come to learn from him. Meanwhile Ned looks to create his own wholesome entertainment by creating his own versions of bible stories, which get the backing of Mr. Burns. Marge doesn’t like his approach, which eliminates the good aspects of the stories, and only concentrates on the violence. She threatens a boycott, which gets Burns to remove his financial backing, leaving Ned with no creative outlet. The commissioner of football (and all the owners) want to talk to Homer, his teaching of crazy antics to their players have increased their ratings. They want him to choreograph the Superbowl half-time show. Homer struggles for a show idea and on the night before the big show he still doesn’t have one. Homer looks for inspiration at the church, but instead finds Flanders, who is looking for an outlet for his ideas. Together they bring the story of Noah to the half-time show, but everyone boos as no one wanted to see such a “blatant display of religion and decency.”

The Simpsons 16×7: Mommie Beerest

The family is celebrating by having brunch at a fancy restaurant; Homer has finally paid off the mortgage. Lisa and Bart get into a food fight, embarrassing Homer. Homer goes to Moe’s, where a visit from the health inspector, results in his death from eating one of Moe’s pickled eggs. The new health inspector comes down hard and Moe’s is closed until the violations are cleared up. The regulars hold an Irish wake for the demise of Moe’s. Homer decides to help Moe reopen his bar; and he gets a new mortgage for their home. When Marge finds out, as a new co-owner she goes with Homer to the bar and tells Moe that there are going to be changes until he pays them back. On Homer’s next visit, he finds Marge behind the bar, protecting their investment. She sends him home to take care of the kids, while she sells Moe on the idea of remodeling the place into an English pub. The new place opens and is a success; the kids tell Homer that they’ve noticed that Marge is spending more time at Moe’s than he ever did. Homer becomes worried; but Marge tells him there is nothing to worry about. They go to a movie together, but they are joined by Moe. Homer is more worried than ever; Lenny and Carl tell Homer that Marge and Moe are having an emotional affair. When Marge and Moe are leaving to go to a convention together in Aruba, Homer makes a mad dash to the airport and gets to the airplane as it is taxing down the runaway. He confronts Moe, but Moe makes him realize that he really doesn’t know that much about his wife. Homer concedes defeat, but Marge tells Moe that she doesn’t love him. She tells Homer that she is totally committed to him. In Aruba, Marge makes Moe realize that he might be able to make a woman happy some day with a few changes. Marge realizes that no one is home watching the kids, but the kids aren’t at home as Bart has them entered in a European balloon race.

The Simpsons 16×6: Midnight Rx

The power plant’s office party is being held at the Springfield Air and Space museum, where amongst other things we learn that Agnes Skinner was a wing-walker back in the 1920s. Mr. Burns is acting unusually nice, and then he makes an announcement that the employee prescription drug program has been canceled. Other companies follow suit, the citizens of Springfield At Springfield Retirement Castle, due to the high cost of medication, they cut their residents off cold turkey. Grandpa goes to his son’s home with a plan; he has a friend that will help them out. He and Homer go to Canada where they meet the friend that gives them cards that will let them get all the drugs they can carry. They return home and their drugs are in high demand. Ned and Apu accompany them on their next trip to Canada, but an unfortunate incident with Apu and a hot cup of coffee gets their cover blown as they try to cross the border. They are banished from ever returning to Canada. Because he can no longer afford the medication he requires Smithers’ thyroid begins to swell causing a concern for Mr. Burns, he doesn’t want to have to train anyone else on his filing system. He provides the means, his old wooden plane The Plywood Pelican, for Homer to invoke his plan to fly into Canada. They load up, but on the return flight the plane encounters trouble. Burns bails out, leaving Homer and Grandpa to crash land the plane in Springfield’s town square, where their smuggled drugs are hit. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns has cured Smithers and decides to reinstitute the drug program for all his full time employees. Homer comes home from work to report that he is now a freelance consultant, complete with a lump on his throat.

The Simpsons 16×5: Fat Man and Little Boy

Bart loses his last baby tooth in a spitball fight. Called the money tooth, Bart is suffering from what he calls a midlife crisis when the tooth fairy has given a gift in his name to the United Way, what his mother calls a “grown-up gift.” Bart gives up on his childhood and Lisa suggests that he expresses his feelings in some way and Bart chooses to put them in the form of slogans on a T-shirt. When Goose Gladwell, a gag-gift entrepreneur, sees the slogans he forms a partnership with Bart that begins to make Bart a lot of money. Homer is suspended from work without pay and then decides to quit outright and live off of his son’s earnings. Of course he loses his place in the family as breadwinner and starts to lose his self respect. A documentary by Declan Desmond on lions inspires Homer to start focusing on his relationship with Lisa. He decides to help her with her science project about nuclear power, which includes a scale model of the first nuclear power plant. Homer improves on her model by making it functional, something easily done after finding the instructions on the Internet. He sneaks into the power plant and get some plutonium. Meanwhile, Goose Gladwell has sold the rights to Bart’s T-Shirts to Disney and Bart won’t get a dime from it. To get back into his role as the alpha male of the family, Homer makes use of the working nuclear reactor to threaten Gladwell into giving his son what he deserves and few novelty items for himself. As to whether the reactor actually works or not, Homer decides to leave that up to the seagulls at the city dump to figure it out.

The Simpsons 16×4: She Used to Be My Girl

Famous journalist Chloe Talbot comes to Springfield to cover a scandal involving Mayor Quimby. Chloe Talbot comes from Springfield and she and Marge were journalism students together in high school; Chloe went on to fame and fortune and we all know what happened to Marge. Lisa becomes enamored with Chloe and Marge becomes jealous of loss of her daughter’s attention. After a half a glass of wine, Marge goes cuckoo bananas and gets into a fight with Chloe. When Marge won’t let her go with Chloe to news conference, Lisa sneaks out and into the trunk of Chloe’s car. Everything might have gone according to plan if Chloe hadn’t been diverted to cover the eruption of a volcano. Lisa and Chloe get into trouble and it takes a mother’s love to affect Lisa’s rescue, whereas Chloe’s rescue comes from an old high school boyfriend, Barney Gumble.

The Simpsons 16×3: Sleeping with the Enemy

Lisa has a big butt and her friends at school, Sherri, Terri and Janie let her know about it. Homer explains to her about the Simpson butt, it is something she’ll have to learn to live with. Bart comes home with 100 on his test, and now he wants to collect on the party that was promised. Lisa is trying to deal with her weight issue, meanwhile Bart gets his party; with his relatives, Ralph, Martin and Milhouse via speakerphone. It’s the worst party ever as far as Bart’s concerned. It’s made worse when Lisa returns home only to be confronted by her mother wanting her to eat a big slice piece of cake, she runs out of the room crying. Marge is bummed that the kids don’t appreciate her anymore. She finds Nelson in the park and spends some quality time with him and when her kids continue to shun her, she adopts Nelson as a surrogate child. Lisa tries diet and exercise to reduce her big bottom. Marge brings Nelson home to do some chores around their home, but Nelson’s real mother returns that money that Marge paid her son and then she leaves for Hollywood, leaving her son in Springfield and homeless. Nelson goes to the only place where he can find refuge, the Simpson home. Much to Bart’s dismay Marge lets Nelson stay in his room. Late one night Bart finds Nelson singing for the return of his father and Lisa overindulging in a cake (she’d previously been starving herself). Lisa gets help from Nelson to get revenge on Sherri and Terri. When the pair returns to the Simpson home there is a surprise waiting for Nelson; Bart has found his father. Nelson is reunited with his father (and his mother who’s returned from Hollywood with an acting job). Lisa still hasn’t found a conclusive solution to her weight problem.

The Simpsons 16×2: All’s Fair in Oven War

The house next door is for sale and Marge and Homer go inside to check it out; Marge falls in love with the kitchen. Back at home Marge asks Homer for a new kitchen. Rather than hire someone, Homer decides to do the renovation himself. While demolishing the kitchen, Homer unleashes his old collection of Playdude magazines. He tells Marge he keeps them for the articles; she obliges him by cutting up the magazines, keeping only the articles. Now that they are useless, Homer throws them away, only to have them found by Bart and Milhouse. Using these 1970’s era magazines as a model, Bart decides to renovate the Treehouse. After Homer has made a mess of the kitchen remodeling, Marge is finally able to hire a contractor, who completes the job “on-time” two years later for $100,000. Marge’s first new dish out of her kitchen gets rave reviews and she decides to enter the Ovenfresh Bakeoff with her Dessert Dogs. At the bakeoff Marge encounters stiff and ruthless competition, so ruthless that Marge resorts to cheating to get even, much to Lisa’s dismay. Chief Wiggum and other concerned parents talk with Homer about Bart’s spreading the Playdude philosophy to the other children. Homer has a talk with Bart about the facts of life, which a horrified Bart quickly spreads to the other children. Meantime, in the finals for the bakeoff against Brandine, Marge admits to her foul play and Lisa’s faith in her mother is restored.

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